Want
by TheHopelessRomantic95
Summary: Life after hearing about a son you may never had is depressing. How would you deal? Would you give up on life? Or would you chase after what you want? For a certain Thanagarian, life isn't as simple as it should be.  Read and Review..As always!
1. Chapter 1

Want

_"He's our son, yours and mines." _

Whenever Shayera thought back to their conversation that occurred 3 months ago fresh tears leaked from her eyes down her cheeks. At first it had been hard to even see him. She spent almost all of her time in her room, only coming out to eat or go on missions. Wally would come to see her, but he couldn't get her out. Diana and Superman tried and failed as well. Only J'onn and Batman were able to get inside her room and talk to her. J'onn and her talked about losing your loved ones and how to deal. He also told her that she should try to get John back because he was still here. She had the chance that J'onn didn't. Shayera always listened, but at that time she never believed him. Behind closed doors she was lethargic. And she was always crying. With Batman it was different. He would come in, pull up a chair next to her bed where she lay, and sit there. He never started the conversations. Whenever she needed one, he would hand her a tissue, which seemed to be at every visit. It took a while, but he got her to play chess again. He asked about John once but she quickly stopped that. He had only asked "How are things with John?" She sneered and asked how things were with Diana, knowing that he wouldn't answer. So their time together was filled with silence and chess. She was grateful that her teammates tried, but she just couldn't do anything. All her time consisted of was her in bed wiping the hot tears away from her red face and eyes. She was like this for almost 2 months. Once she hit the 2 month limit, she knew that it was time to stop crying. She began coming out of her room more, only for a cup of coffee or just to talk with Wally. J'onn and Batman still came to her room often. They were like therapy for her. It helped her to cry with J'onn and to think with Batman.

On the first day of the third month of her depressive state, there came a knock on her door. Curious, she sat up. J'onn would phase inside her room and lightly touch her shoulder to let her know that he was there. The sound of a chair hitting the floor would let her know that Batman was there. Other than that no one knocked or came to her room. "Who is it?" She called out, her voice cracking from lack of use. "Please Shayera. Open the door, it's me." She felt tears burst from her eyes, blurring her vision. Her chest grew tight and she found it hard to breathe. It was John. The man who caused her so much pain, the one who she locked herself in her room just to avoid. He knocked on the door again but she never responded. "Shayera?" He called out again. She turned on her bed and hid her face in her pillows. 'Go away. Please go away' she begged in her mind.

"What are you doing?" She heard a deep voice demand outside her door. "I'm here to see Shayera. What are you doing here Batman?" John responded. "I'm here to see her just like I do every 2 days." With that he opened the door and walked into the Thanagarian's room leaving a shocked lantern behind him. Instead of getting his usual chair, he walked over to Shayera and sat next to her on her bed. "Are you alright?" She continued to stay in her position while her sobs calmed down. "I will be." She said. With a sigh she sat back up to see that he had a tissue ready. She gave him a small thanks with a smile and wiped her face. "Why did he come by? I was actually thinking of going outside today with Wally." He looked at her and simply replied "Maybe he thought 2 months was enough."

After that Shayera no longer stayed in her room to cry. She went on missions, sparred with Batman and other league members. She sought people out. She was no longer in solitude. Shayera still avoided John. He would try to catch her eye in the cafeteria but she would never look his way. When Mari was in the room with him, she immediately left. Soon she would even smile at Wally and his antics or even at J'onn's sly humor or Diana's attempt at sarcasm. Whenever she saw John she went the other way, her face emotionless and her head up high. Soon she was back to her headstrong self. Just like she was after she came back to the league. She had new friends in the league. Like Vigilante, or Vig as she called him, and Huntress and Canary. They had girl's night out in Gotham all the time. On rare occasions, her and Diana spent time together. Things were...ok again. She no longer cried. She was ok.

But here she was now crying softly. The only thing that could make her cry now was that damn conversation. She no longer sobbed. It was just quiet. Tears left her eyes from the corners as she lay on her best looking up at the ceiling. Sometimes her eyes would be closed. She never told herself to stop. J'onn said that of would help. 'Damn him' she thought. She was calm and her breathing was steady. Soon she felt herself drift off to her favorite place, Dreamland. Although she would deny it if asked, she dreamt of her and John, together. She closed her eyes and fell into the sweet escape from reality with a sigh.


	2. Chapter 2

_You need to know, I'm staying with Mari." _

_-four months after that conversation._

With a swing of her mace she demolished one of the training bots. As another one tried to attack her from behind, she jumped up in the air backwards and landed so that the bot was now in front of her. Before the bot could turn around she swung her mace once again, decapitating it. Covered with a sheen of sweat, she decided that she had trained enough, besides it was time to meet Wally for lunch. Diana would also be joining them.

After a quick shower, she ran out of the locker rooms for she was late. As she turned the corner, she hit something solid and fell to the ground.

"Oof! What the hell?" She said.

"I'm sorry!"

She heard someone say. Her body froze. It was him. She hadn't heard his voice since that day he came to her room, a month ago. He reached his hand down to help her up, but she brushed his hand aside and got up by herself.

"No, I'm sorry; I wasn't watching where I was going. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet Wally and Diana for lunch." She got up and turned to walk away but a hand grasped her small wrist.

"Damn it Shayera. Just talk to me for a second."

Shayera slowly turned around to look at John, the man who broke her heart but still had a hold of it.

"Let go John. You've done it once. It shouldn't be so hard to do it again."

He met her gaze and for those few moments it felt as if time stopped. Shayera shut her eyes and ripped her wrist from his firm grasp. Before he could say anything she was already on her way walking fast, almost running, to meet Wally and Diana.

"Damn it Shayera. Wait!" She heard him call out. Soon she made it to the cafeteria area and immediately sat down next to Wally.

"Whoa where's the fire Red?" Shayera didn't respond. All she did was stare down at the table while her shoulder and chest went up and down at a fast pace.

"Shay? What happened?"

Before she could reply John stormed into the cafeteria. He stopped and searched for the red head. Once he spotted her, he started to make his way towards her. He had only gone 3 steps before he was stopped by Batman. Between the 2, Shayera saw, came a heated exchange. John seemed pissed while Batman remained calm. Finally he locked eyes with Shayera, heat and anger evident in his gaze, and looked at Batman once more before leaving the room. Batman also left. At that moment, Diana finally joined them.

"Great Hera, what was that all about?" Wally swallowed his food before answering.

"I dunno. It looks like John was pissed and Batman told him to calm down or leave. I think it had something to do with Shayera though. Did you see the way he looked at her before he left?"

Diana thought this over. "Do you know what that was about?"

She asked Shayera. Still looking at the table she nodded.

"I was on my way here but I ran into John. He wanted to talk but I just couldn't. So I practically ran." She sighed. "Damn him! I'm a warrior. And warriors don't run from anything!"

No one said anything for a while.

"Don't worry." Diana said "Soon you will be over him. It will just take time."

After that the trio continued to eat and talk about anything g new that was happening in their lives. After lunch, Shayera went back to her room. It was chess day with Bruce. In the last month, Batman and J'onn visited her less. She was better. She didn't need people to come see her in her room. When she finally reached her room, she wasn't surprised to find Batman already there setting up the pieces. 'Of course she's here' she thought. As she got an idea she smiled.

"Oh honey!" She called "I'm home!"

He didn't look up but continued setting up the chess pieces. " Ha ha"

Grinning, she made her way into her room stopping to hang her mace on its special place and sat on the other side of the chess table.

"Sooo" she said. "What was up in the cafeteria earlier?"


	3. Chapter 3

A:N-First of all, I'd like to thank those reading my story. Thanks to S-Bumblebee for the advice about the dialogue, if you couldn't tell I'm pretty new to uploading stories.

I apologize for any OOC-iness and grammar or spelling mistakes. Please continue to read and enjoy. I'd love to hear any ideas as well.(:

I'd love to hear your favorite quotes from Shadow of the Hawk and Ancient History to start each chapter.

_"John, this can't go any further."_

Before he replied, he moves a pawn. "The lantern was angry. And I told him to leave."

She looked at him and then moved one of her own pawns. "What was said? Exactly?" She added.

He moved his Knight forward. "He asked me why I was stopping him. I told him that he was going to cause a scene, I was merely preventing it." He paused to watch her move another of her pawns.

"He said that he was just going to talk to you but you didn't give him a chance to say anything. All I said was to give you time. He then looked your way and glared at me one last time before finally leaving."

Shayera pondered over this while Bruce moves one of his pieces. The pair no longer talked but merely focuses on the game. Shayera lost for her thoughts were on the green lantern. After 5 matches, Batman winning 3 Shayera wining 2, Batman left and Shayera was left alone. She thought of how life was like chess. We all wanted to win. But to win, there were losses and sacrifices. There were traps and secret moves that made you lose. But unlike chess, you couldn't reset and try a new strategy. When you were stuck, you had to move on and try your best to win. Sighing, she looked at her digital clock and saw that it was dinner time. Grabbing her mace she made her way down to the cafeteria once again. Once she was there she made her way down to her favorite table. It was so far out that no one sat there. It was all alone and next to a huge window that showed a breath taking view of earth. Her adopted home.

'Where everyone hates me.' she thought to herself. She looked out to the earth and remembered the fun times she had there. Most of those memories were of her and John. Like when they were in Vegas and he saved her. And the times they spent at his little apartment in Detroit. And the times they ate at the little Chinese place near his apartment. She smiled softly to herself. But then, as she continued thinking, her smile left her as she remembered the invasion. She stood up and walked over to the window crossing her arms. She thought of her betrayal to her home planet, the look on John's face as she introduced Hro, and the silence that met her confession of her feelings for him. With that last memory, the rest came rushing forward. The memories played in front of her eyes like a movie she couldn't look away from. Thoughts of Grundy came to her. Carter Hall and destiny came forth too. A tear made its way to her eye but didn't fall as she thought of her past life. Chayera and Bashari. They were together and poisoned. Finally, the memory of the night that still broke her heart. The day she learned she would never get her son. With that last thought the tear in her eye fell. She made no move to wipe it.

"Shayera?" Someone asked gently behind her. She sighed, for she recognized the voice behind her.

"John now isn't the best time. Please leave." She could sense that he was still there.

"I won't leave until we actually have a conversation. I'm tired of us not talking. I'm tired of you ignoring me." Still the Thanagarian did not reply. She still looked outside the window.

"I know you don't want to talk, but hear me out. I've been trying to tell you for the last 2 months. I." He paused "I want us to be friends. I don't want to avoid each other. I want things to be like they used to."

In her head she laughed. After all they've been through; he thought that they could be friends and nothing more. 'Sure' she thought ' I'll be his drinking buddy and she'll be his fuck buddy.'

She still did not respond, but kept looking at the gorgeous view of the Earth. She didn't want to be just a friend to him. She wanted him to be hers again. Taking her silence as a sign that he could keep talking, he walked up to her. Standing right next to her closely. But not too close to be actually touching.

"Shayera, please, give this a chance. I don't want to lose you."

She could feel him staring at her. He reached his hand up to cup her cheek and turned her face towards him. To avoid his deep gaze, she closed her eyes.

"John." She said softly. "We can't be friends."

Before he could respond, she quickly left. He was dumbfounded. He wanted to follow her but knew better. God how he loved her. But he couldn't just leave Mari. He couldn't follow destiny. He didn't want to be a puppet. Soon though, he thought, we'll be friends again. Like old times. They would smile again and he would be with Mari and she, well he grimaced at the thought of her with another guy. With a sigh, John looked back out towards the earth and could only see her beautiful eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Don't say you don't love me."_

Shayera ran to her room. She passed by several people but never stopped. By the time she reached her room her tears had blurred her eyes so much that she couldn't see. As she punched in her room code, she kept messing up. Just as she was about to give up a pale green hand reached past her and did the code to her room. She looked up to see a softly smiling Martian.

"Thank you J'onn" he smiled and helped her in her room.

"I brought Oreos." He announced with a small smile. Shayera wiped her face and came back out.

"How did you know?" She asked taking an Oreo from the small plate.

"I could feel your distress. When I'm upset or feeling down or when I get the occasional craving, I eat Oreos. They always bring a smile to my face."

He smiled before popping an Oreo in his mouth. Shayera smiled and she too popped an Oreo into her mouth. That night, the two shared stories of their previous lives before they came to earth. Soon it was almost 2 am; J'onn decided it was time for Shayera to sleep. Before he left he gave her some advice.

"Share your feelings with someone." She opened her mouth to say that she did but he beat her. "I don't mean myself and Batman. I mean someone who telling will make a difference." He then bid her good night and left so she could think things over and sleep.

The next day she went out for breakfast. Waking up early due to lack of sleep, she grabbed herself some strawberry yogurt, fresh apple slices with peanut butter, and a glass of lemon tea. She sat down at her usual empty table. As she was eating, she felt someone walking up behind her. From the light footsteps, she could tell that it wasn't John. She recognized her right before she spoke.

"Wow I can't believe you're actually in here for breakfast." Mari, or better known as Vixen, said. Saying nothing Shayera continued to eat. Mari frowned and then sat down besides the winged warrior.

"I'm guessing that you and John had a talk last night?" Shayera took a moment to look at the super heroine that sat beside her.

"What makes you say that?" Mari gave her a sideways glance.

"He didn't stay with me last night. When he came to tell me that he wasn't staying he seemed to be flustered." Shayera ate some of her yogurt before replying.

"I don't know what his problem was. All I know is that I had a rough night." Mari took one of Shayera's apples and looked at her.

"It's been months since I told you, but I'll say it again. He still has feelings for you."

Shayera sighed. "I know." She sipped some of her tea as Mari continued.

"And you have feelings for him. And so do I. The question is who's going to get him? Have you already given up?" Mari demanded. Shayera looked up at the super model. 'She doesn't know about Warhawk.' She thought.

Mari went on. "Ever since Darkseid came you have been withdrawn. It took you 4 months to be ok again."

Once again Shayera sighed. "Mari, if you found out something that made you the happiest you ever felt, only to have that happiness ripped from you in the same minute, you'd understand."

Mari looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?" She asked.

A:N-I love this quote too(:


	5. Chapter 5

_"I'll never say that."_

Deciding to give up on her breakfast, Shayera pushed her plate away. Without looking at Mari she said. "If he hasn't told you, then it's not my place. He should be the one to tell you. Not me." She got up and started to walk away but felt a hand grasp her wrist yet again.

"You can tell me Shayera." Mari's gaze was almost desperate to know.

"Mari. I'm only going to ask you once. Let go."

By this time they both were standing and Mari still hadn't let go. The other heroes in the room were starting to stare. "Tell me what he said."

Shayera signed and said "He told me that he was staying with you."

Mari wasn't dumb. She knew that wasn't all. "What else did he say?"

To Shayera's dismay, she felt tears coming to her eyes as she thought of the conversation that tore her heart to shreds. Seeing the unshed tears, Mari released Shayera but still stood in front of her.

"Please, tell me." Shayera turned to look at her favorite window before turning back to Mari.

"As I have said before, it's not my place." Shayera then left the cafeteria behind her.

For the remainder of the morning, Shayera lay in her bed looking up at the ceiling and thinking.

At this time John was at home. He wasn't needed at the watchtower until later. As he walked out his bathroom, he could feel that something was off. Someone was in his apartment. Creeping over to his bedside table he grabbed his ring and slipped it on. Moving from his bedroom to the living room he held the ring in front of him. Just as he reached his living room, he heard a very feminine voice.

"Is that anyway to greet your girlfriend? I know you're supposed to point something when you see me. I didn't think it'd be your ring."

Setting his right arm back down to his side he asked "Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here?" Mari sighed and stood up then made her way to sit on the chairs by his kitchen table.

"Shayera and I talked at breakfast this morning."

'What?' John thought. 'She'll talk to Mari, but not me?'

"I asked her what happened to make her so withdrawn. She told me that you said something. Something that absolutely broke her heart." John was shocked. Something that he said 4 months ago still hurt her.

"I asked her to tell me." John froze hearing this. "But she said it wasn't her place. So I came here for answers." Mari stood up and walked over to where John was standing. "Well?" She asked looking up to him.

"I told her that I was staying with you."

Mari looked angry. "That wouldn't have broken her heart. That would make her try harder. Shayera and I know this! You said something that made her happy. Then you said that you were staying with me." By the time Mari was done her breathing was hard. John looked unfazed.

"What I said was between Shayera and myself. No one else. If she needs to talk about it she can come talk to me if not, then leave her be." By this time the couple were glaring at the other.

"Fine. I'll find out soon enough John. It would have been easier if you had just told me." With that she left the apartment and went on to a photo shoot.

It was dinnertime and Shayera was starving. She barely ate any of her breakfast and she skipped lunch. So she made her way once again to the cafeteria. She grabbed some food, pasta primavera, and made her way to her table. As she got closer, she could see that someone already sat there. By the he was sitting, she could see that he was a man in uniform. She sighed. It was John. Instead of running away back to her room, she took a deep breath and sat in the chair across from him. He watched her as she started eating. Shayera could feel his stare. "If you want to say something, then go ahead."


	6. Chapter 6

_"We'll make those choices ourselves."_

John reached out one hand and grasped one of Shayera's. She stopped eating and finally looked at him.

"What do you want John?" She asked tiredly. The strength just seemed to leave her, like air leaving a balloon.

"I want to talk. About Warhawk, about us, and about our future."

Shayera narrowed her eyes at him. "According to you, I'll never have Warhawk. There'll be no 'us'. And you're staying with Mari! What more could you say to me without ripping my heart to shreds?"

He still hadn't let go of her hand. Instead he held it tighter. "Even with Mari, these last 4 months have been hard. After the invasion," Shayera cringed but he kept going.

"After that I thought about you all the time. Then you came back. I still thought about you. I even got to talk to you. These last 4 months have been much harder because you're here and in my mind, but I can't talk to you. It's hell Shayera." She mulled this over as she bit her lip into oblivion.

"Why haven't you told Mari?" She asked the marine. "It seems like she wants to know pretty damn bad." He let go of her hand and leaned back into his chair.

"When it happens, we'll tell her."

She looked at him sharply and repeated "when it happens?" He seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Shayera. I still love you. I'll never say anything different. With our love, I'm sure that Warhawk will happen."

Shayera scoffed. "And Mari? Will she just move aside and let me take her place? Just like that?" He ran his hand down his face.

"When it happens, we'll deal with it."

She had heard enough. She stood up so fast the chair behind her fell over. "Damn it John! When will it happen? When? You can't come over here, tell me you love me, and then say it won't happen now! What is wrong with you?" He just looked at her in shock. After a few moments, she calmed down enough to say softly

"I love you John. But I won't wait forever." Then she turned and left.


	7. Chapter 7

"_Tell me about my son."_

Instead of going to her room, where she had spent far too much time in, she went to Batman's special computer room. The very same room where she learned more about Warhawk from the Dark Knight. She came into the room and sat down beside Batman.

"Have another tough day?"

Shayera smiled softly in a sad way. "Yes. John told me he loved me. And I ran." She looked towers Batman. "Please, tell me about Warhawk again."

Batman continued typing. "What more could I tell you. It's the same every time." Shayera said nothing, waiting him to go on. He sighed.

"When we went to the future we met a super hero. He had nth metal wings, metallic body armor. All silver. Enhanced strength and stamina. He had your fighting spirit. Later we learned his name was Rex Stewart. He had your green eyes and John's hair and nose." Shayera smile through her tears. "John was proud of him, even called him his kid. He even gave him advice. Rex Stewart is truly a hero." he finished.

Wiping her face, Shayera stood. "Thank you Batman." Right as she reached the door she heard his voice.

"Does John know how much you know about Warhawk?"

Shayera didn't turn around. "No." She said quietly, almost too quietly to hear. But since it was Batman, she knew that he heard her. The sound of fingers going over the computer keys gave her her cue to go.

As soon as the Thanagarian left, Batman leaped from his seat in search of the Green Lantern. He went to the cafeteria first. No sign of John. He looked everywhere. The last place he looked was right in front of Shayera's door. On the floor, there sat a man dressed in green and black.

"What are you doing Lantern?" John looked up to see Batman.

He shot up from the floor. "Where's Shayera? I've been sitting here for almost an hour."

Batman said nothing. He grabbed John and went to the transport area. "J'onn, two to the batcave." All they saw was a flash of blue and the. They were met with the dark abyss of the cave. "How much about Warhawk have you told Shayera?" Batman demanded.

"I only told her that we had a son. That was it. Why?" John looked at Batman waiting for an answer.

"Why do you string her along?" Choose one or the other. You can't have both." The Knight said. John was silent as he thought. He went over and sat in a chair. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"I love Shayera. There's no doubt. But I just can't dump Mari. She was there for me when things were hard."

"Trying to have both of them in your life is harder." When John looked up, the Dark Knight was already gone. When he got back to the watchtower, there was a commotion near one of the javelins.

"We need help here!" He heard someone call out. John spotted Flash and went up to him.

"What happened?" He asked his friend. Flash looked up to him with sad eyes.

"Shayera was hurt. It's pretty bad John."

He couldn't breathe. "What? What happened? Where is she?" He looked around them. He saw the Med team put her on a stretcher and take her down to the Med bay. He flew after them. "Doc! Please how is she?"

The doctor barely looked at him. "She's unconscious. Her left wing was beat pretty badly. It wasn't totally healed after the Darkseid incident. Along with that, she was cut on her left side down to her hip. That cut was deep and it looks bad." The doctor quickly ran off to help the others. John just stood there. He was in shock.

He waited three hours. During that time the original members came and asked about her, besides Batman. And some others came too like Vigalante, Canary and Huntress. Mari came and sat with him too but left for she had a photo shoot. After almost 4 hours, a doctor came into the room.


	8. Chapter 8

"_It didn't have to be this way."_

Shayera had just left Batman when she her J'onn in her ear. "Shayera we need you." So she had gone to him to go on her mission. With her left wing still not completely healed, she was on traffic duty. She told people which way to go so they wouldn't be in danger. It had been going fine. That is until 2 men came her way. They were the only two left.

"That's the Thanagarian bitch ain't it?" The other laughed.

"Damn right it is!"

The first one spoke again. "You filthy hawks killed my brother!" Before she could lift her mace, the two men were on her. Without her wings she couldn't fly away. She punched, kneed, and bit as much as she could but it didn't help. One hit her left wing with a pipe. She screamed in pain. It was the same one that had been stabbed during Darkseid's attack. The two men just laughed. The other stepped on it repeatedly. They turned her so that she was on her back. "How bout you play nice, let us do what we want and we don't hurt you?" He asked. Shayera was beyond upset. She spit and told him to fuck off. He was angry. He slapped her. She cursed out in pain. This only seemed to make it more enjoyable for the guys. Faintly she heard wings. Not small ones, but one of Thanagarians. One of the guys looked up.

"Shit!" he cried. "It's another damn Thanagarian!" His partner in crime looked at him.

"Let's get out of here!" The two men then ran. Shayera watched as the figure drew closer. All she could see in the dark alley was his silhouette. He came close to her. She tried to get up but he roughly pushed her down and put a knife to her neck.

"I wouldn't get up if I were you." The voice said menacingly. It sounded familiar to Shayera, but she couldn't place it. Her mind was dizzy from the pain. Suddenly he got off of Shayera and backhanded her ferociously. Her head was spinning. The hit was powerful. "I will have you. Soon. And you will be mine." He then got his knife and stabbed her side. She screamed. He then slowly dragged it down. By the time the man was at her waist she was dizzy from blood loss.

"Shayera!" She heard someone call. The man took out the knife and leaned towards her ear. "I'll see you again soon my pretty little bird." And then she passed out.

When she woke up, she was met with white. Bright white lights. Bright white room. She was on her back. Shifting a little, she felt for injuries.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." She heard John say. He came up beside her bed and sat in the chair beside it, and took her hands.

"This is dumb to ask but, are you alright?" She looked towards the man beside her.

"I'm as fine as someone could be after being attacked." He frowned. "Why are you hear John?" He looked up and met her emerald eyes.

"I'm here because I waited 4 hours to see you. I had to see that you were alright." He cupped her face with his hand.

"John I'm fine. You can go." Before he replied another man walked in the room.

"Shayera!" He came to her ignoring john completely and wrapped her in a hug.

"Carter!" Shayera yelled. "Why are you here?"

Carter looked at Shayera in his arms. "I came because I heard about what happened."

"Oh." Shayera said. "Thank you for stopping by."

Carter let go of her and sat on the other side of her. "John." He greeted the lantern. "Hawkman." John replied.

"Are you both going to stay here?" Shayera asked. Without looking away from Hawkman, he replied

"I'll stay until we finish our conversation."

"And I'll stay until you want me gone." Shayera took her hand from John's.

"I want you out John. I have nothing to say. And Carter, you can stay. I'd like the company." John narrowed his eyes at Hawkman.

"We'll talk soon." He said. And then he left.

"What happened?" asked Hawkman.

"I was beat up and cut" replied Shayera curtly Carter shook his head. "I meant with you and John. I thought that seeing the past would set things in motion." Shayera continued to stare at the door John just stormed through.

"Apparently the past wasn't enough. Or the future." Tears again found their way into her eyes.

"The future?" Hawkman asked. Shayera finally turned to look at Hawkman and told him of the last 4 months.


	9. Chapter 9

_"I think we both know how the story is supposed to end"_

Carter visited Shayera the most. Following him was J'onn then Wally. She refused to see John. When she wanted to talk, she would go to him. She was tired of him coming to her and forcing her to talk. With Carter they talk about anything. They talked about flying, the dates they shared, and sometimes destiny. "You and John are meant to be. I know this, he knows this, and you know this. You saw a past life and a future. It's meant to be." Shayera looked at him sadly.

"He doesn't want to be destiny's puppet. He wants to make his own choices." He took one of her hands into both of his.

"What about your choices? He can't pick for you."

Shayera was in the med bay for almost 3 weeks before J'onn let her walk around and go to her room. Her side and wings still hurt. Carter helped her limp to her room, once they got in there; they saw that the room was dust free. On her bed was a note.

'Shayera, your room is clean. I didn't want you to have a sneezing fit once you got to the only place where you are comfortable. Whenever you're ready, we can talk. I'll wait for as long as it takes. -John'

"Well that was nice of him." commented Carter.

Shayera just put the note on her desk and collapsed on her right side on her bed. "I'll leave you to sleep." Carter bent over to give a quick friendly kiss on Shayera's head. As his lips touch her forehead her door opened. Shayera's eyes popped open to see John standing confused.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I went to see you in the med bay, but you weren't there so I came here. What the hell is going on?" Hawkman moved away from Shayera.

"I was giving her a get well kiss. I was just about to leave her so she could get some sleep." By now Shayera had sat up on her bed.

"Both of you can go. I'll be fine by myself. Alone." The two men looked at her. John's look was one of a jealous boy and Carter's was one of a caring friend.

"Ok. We'll leave. But if you need to talk you can find me at the museum." Carter then left the room. John watched him closely until he was out of view.

"So what, you want me to leave too?" He asked.

"Yes. I want to sleep. I'm my bed, where I haven't been in ages. When we talk, I'll find you. Good night John." He scoffed but said nothing. Soon he left as well. Once he reached her door, he stopped

"I love you Shayera. I'm glad you're ok." He said, barely above a whisper. After he left, Shayera was left alone in silence. It was strange. She was used to having Hawkman beside her as she fell asleep. It was only for a short time, but it was a pattern. It wasn't a jumbled mess like her emotions were now like. It was like a schedule, dependable. But she was back in her room. Her comfort zone. Getting underneath her soft blankets, she set herself on her right side and drifted off into the sweet dark abyss of sleep. As she drifted off, she couldn't help but feel that big things were going to happen. She couldn't tell if they were going to be good or bad.


	10. Chapter 10

_"What else could it mean?"_

It was a week before Shayera sought John out. During that time she went over what she would say with Hawkman. They ate all meals together at her special table. John would be in the cafeteria too but Shayera didn't speak with him. During that week, Shayera had gotten stronger. She didn't need Carter's help as much. It was nice to have him with her. Once he gave up on the whole "reincarnated lovers" crap he wasn't crazy and was a great guy. Her plan was simple. Tell John that she was done waiting. She would stop hoping for more and he would stop talking of their future. Simple and to the point.

"I think tomorrow is the day Carter." Hawkman looked up from his meal.

"If that's really what you want. Then go for it. Do you want me to do it with you?"

She gave him a smile. "No. Thanks but no. This is between John and myself." The two ate the rest of their meals in silence.

The next day, Shayera looked for the Lantern. She found him in the training room where almost 5 months ago he came to talk to her before the Shadow Thief showed then their past. He was on the same machine as she had been.

"John?" She called out. He immediately stopped and stood up.

"Is it time to talk?" Shayera nodded. "Well..." he grabbed some water "Where do you want to talk?" She looked away from him.

"Its kinda late so I was hoping we could talk in my room. When we're done, you can leave and I can go to sleep."

After John took a quick shower, the two heroes went to Shayera's room. As soon as she made it into her room, she collapsed on her bed. "Shayera, if you're too tir-"

"I'm fine," she cut him off. "What did you want to say?" John looked around and sat in one of the two chairs in her room.

"I want us to be happy." The room fell into silence. "I want you to smile again." He continued. "I just want things to be less complicated. We were friends. Can't we do that again? "

Shayera shook her head. "We were never friends. It was always more, especially after Vegas. We can't be just friends. I already told you that. As for happiness, I'll find it some other way. Maybe even on another planet. One day I'll leave and never come back." Another silence met the room. Shayera closed her eyes to block the tears. But one managed to escape. She heard John get up. Instead of leaving, as she hoped he would, he climbed in the bed in front of her.

"Please. Don't cry. It kills me." He pled. Shayera still didn't open her eyes. She felt him move. In the next second, she felt familiar lips press against hers. Her eyes opened in shock but soon closed again. John wrapped his left arm around her waist and brought her closer to him. Shayera's right arm wrapped itself around his neck.

'Wait!' She thought 'This wasn't supposed to happen. All I had to do was tell him two simple things. Instead he kissed me and I don't want it to stop.' John then turned so that she was on top of him. Both were breathing heavily.

"Tell me if you want to stop." John said. Shayera smirked and replied

"Shut up John." And she kissed him.

**A:N- Part 1 is complete! Part 2 will be called**_ Need _**Until then..Goodbye!**


End file.
